Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Elderly parents? Read on

A Letter to all my friends and Readers

What is the major change in life? Job change? Getting married? or Financial windfall? 

Above all, there is one major change in life, in which we have no experience or never realize. But that's the most important change which needs to be dealt with cautious care. Because it’s highly sensitive. 

Can you guess what’s that?

All of your life there were two persons who was always there to support you financially as well as emotionally. All of a sudden one day you realize that the world has turned upside down. Your elderly parent starts depending on you. Below are few things to remember, when that major change happens

Apologize when you are rude with them:
That, that repetition, senseless questions, ability to hear, their innocent activities drive us crazy one or the other time.  We never tend to hurt them intentionally, but sometimes (or most of the times?) we get annoyed and outburst our frustration with them.

Few years before, I offered a glass with tea to my grandma. She raised her hands toward me to accept the tea glass. With trembling hands, she picked it up but dropped the tea glass immediately. The hot droplets of tea splashed onto my eyes and I howled out in pain. My dad rushed to the spot and looked at his mother (my grandma) as well his daughter (me). He went near my grandma and comforted her saying, "Mom, Just a tea right. Leave it. We can easily clean and can make another cup of tea. Leave it". 
Its then I released how my grandma was feeling helpless, guilty and extremely bad for dropping the glass and tea on to my eyes. This incident disturbed my mind a lot. Are we (this young generation) so calm enough like our parents? I know, her act was not intentional. But incident like this tend to raise our anger and we just show it to elderly people. 

My grandma hands were thin and she could not tolerate the heat. It’s my mistake for not taking extra care while offering the tea. Incidents like this often happen with our elderly parents and we tend to lose our patients. 

Friends my sincere request, don’t ever show your rudeness or emotional outburst with them. If you do so, they will feel insecure and guilt. 
I agree, they repeat the same things again and we get frustrated. 
They embarrass us in front of others and it tests our patients.  
But please don’t lose your temper with them. By any chance if you could not control your anger and shouted at them, apologize. 
Say positive words. Tell them, “I am sorry. I was in bad mood and will never repeat"
When you keep apologizing for your activity, you tend to be little more cautious from next time

Spend some quality time with them:
I am not asking you to take them for movies or some international trips or fulfil your parents long temples wish-list. Just leave your mobile phones at your home and take them for a walk. Listen to them that's more than enough. Read more at Little things to do to our parents.

Let them enjoy their Independence:
While crossing the road, in order to protect my dad, I hold his hands. He instantly push my hands and say not to hold. 
Yes, our parent doesn’t like to be treated as someone who needs help. They wanted their independence first. Learn to help or protect them without letting them know. 
In my previous case I say, dad I need protection and act as if I need help while crossing the road and protect him. In this way, they feel proud that still they are able to support their child too.  

One last thing, I came across this touching message today

An old man took his phone to a repair shop, He was told nothing was wrong with his phone, He asked then why don't my kids ever call me. 

Never make parents long for their own children love. If they do so, that's the biggest failure in our life. 

Thursday, August 18, 2016


On March 21st, 2016, Santosh, Co-Founder of Bangalore Hikers received an email from Vellore Institute of Technology, where Bangalore Hikers was invited as a chief guest to inaugurate their VIT trekking club 5th anniversary. The Board members of VIT requested a member form Bangalore Hikers to give a guest lecture on Empowerment of Women in Trekking. Perfect theme, I would say.

VIT Events

Since the guest lecture is about Empowerment Women in Trekking, Santosh felt I should drive this. I spoke with one of their board members and understood their expectations for the talk. The students want us to share our passion for trekking through inspirational talks and presentations. They requested us to focus on women empowerment, since they felt the number of women in their club was eventually less when compared to men. So, my lecture was mainly focused on encouraging women towards trekking and made them understand that trekking is not a male ruled passion.
VIT Trekking Club 5th Anniversary Agenda
Though trekking undoubtedly needs a lot of stamina, throughout my speech I carried a message that trekking needs more of will power than stamina by sharing my real experience from the past trekking events. I explained the problem women face during trekking and how to overcome them. I displayed the beautiful pictures clicked during Dudhasagar trip and all the students got impressed with the Serene beauty and got glued to the screen. At the end, they requested us to arrange a trip to Dudhsagar for them. They have also organized many events like Triathlon, Treasure hunt as a part of 5th anniversary and requested me to distribute the prize for the winners.

During the Session

The students requested me to do a workshop on camping and their highly positive spirit did not let me down from sharing all the experience. After the lecture and workshop, I met few of the students and explained them that women are no less as trekkers. One of the Adventure Freak reminisce the formation of VIT Trekking Club and how a group of adventure freaks started this club on 9th July, 2010. It was great to meet the students of VIT University who was very passionate about trekking.

camping training
Discussion on camping 

Camping Workshop
I had a request from students to stay with them for a night camping and share the experience of Night Treks, horror stories and memorable trekking experience. I stayed with the students that night and taught them the basis of camping and tents.

All the facilities such as stay, food and travel was arranged by VIT. No doubt, this event is a feather in cap for Bangalore hikers.

Written by: Deepika Muthusamy

Event date: 23rd April, 2016

Lecture by: Deepika Muthusamy

Place: Vellore Institute of Technology, Vellore, Tamil Nadu

This article was originally written for Bangalore Hikers and can be found here